The Coffee Plantation at Biltmore Fashion Square has been there forever - well, a long time. Long enough for many adults to remember back in high school when they’d get dropped off by their parents for a fun night with friends… walking around the closed Biltmore Shops and the open Borders books & music. Of course, the hordes of teenagers and college kids always annoyed the upscale crowd who uses the location for the exact same reasons - for meetings and hanging out, and simply to be seen. Often voted as one of the ‘best places to be seen’ in Phoenix (well, it comes and goes), the Coffee Plantation at the Biltmore is nearly an institution.

With several high schools nearby and a good number of them of the private and catholic variety, these aren’t the same kids that hangout in Buckeye. These are the epitome of upper class preppy punk students. Annoying as anything can be to a college student, or adult - but their energy is so much a part of the atmosphere that without them, the place loses some of what makes it great. The eclectic mix of hyper-giddy teenagers, college hipsters, and yuppie city-life wannabes make this a great location to hangout with friends and people watch.
Nevermind that the coffee is terrible - all of it - any of it. It’s all bad. How bad is it? Let’s just say that they’re a good five rungs down the ladder from StarSux (see what I did there? StarSUX! hahaha, I’m hilarious.) People wax nostalgiac about how the quality of the drinks keeps going down, but they don’t realize that the drinks always sucked. Seriously.
Although I must admit, my current coffee addiction began here. With their milky sweet iced mochas. They used to make them from scratch, real ingredients before they started using power and water, but the mochas tasted much better back then - 10 years ago… and there I go waxing nostalgiac. The coffee sucks. The food is boring, and the service sucks.
But it’s always been that way. The service was always bad.
With lots of tables both inside and out, and most of them lining the walkway corridor seemingly designed for people watching, this is a prime spot for people watching while you sit alone, drinking your latte and filling your notebook with ideas and dreams you’ll never fulfill. You’ll see those people there right beside tables surrounded by 5-7 kids or adults. When there’s live music it’s everything you wish your local coffee shop would be - again, except for the coffee sucking.
Review Summary: 3.2 out of 5
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